Lesson 3 of 8
Climb the validation ladder
About 5 min
The goal
Practice the levels of validation, from simply paying attention to guessing the unstated.
Do it step by step
- 1
Level 1: next conversation, just listen fully — phone down, eyes up, no fixing.
- 2
Level 2: reflect back what you heard: "So the change of plan threw your whole day."
- 3
Level 3: guess the unstated feeling, gently: "I wonder if part of it was embarrassment?"
- 4
Remember: validation is not agreement. You can understand a feeling completely and still hold a boundary.
For parents
Aim one level higher than your habit. Most of us skip straight to advice; even level 1, done fully, changes how safe a teen feels talking.
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